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Our problem is that she is totally under-performing and is extremely disappointed in her own abilities. She criticizes herself and cries after practice. This is so surprising because she worked so hard to earn her spot. We thought she would see the payoff of her hard work and embrace her new role on the new team. How can we get her to realize she deserves to be on the team and to play like she really knows how? Why is she being self-destructive?

She probably is a perfectionist with high expectations for her game.

Sports psychology: self-confidence in sport – make your ego work for you! | Peak Performance

Make sure you help her manage the high expectations about her performance and not make comparisons to others athletes. My 10 year old son loves playing football. He was the MVP of his team last year and all the coaches loved and praised him last season. He is playing up with boys who are years old this season.

However, he is not playing the same this season. He is tenative and seems afraid to play. He has lost confidence in his football abilities. I finally was able to get him to tell me what is wrong- he told me he is afraid to make mistakes on the field. Why has he lost his confidence and is scared?

Will this program help him? Once athletes start to worry about mistakes, they tend to play tentatively.

This causes them to not play their game and they can lose confidence. I suggest The Confident Sports Kid. We have a new 18 yr old coach who has been told by the manager who has not watched any matches to give boys fair time on pitch. He is not. Last week my son was off 3 times while otheres not been off at all so we confronted him and asked him why and he made excuses why he was off the pitch AGAIN.

Our son is not the strongest player, and makes silly mistakes but he has the potential to be good and just needs encouragement. Our son plays a few bad passes and is then off the pitch. Do we keep him there as he loves it with his friends or take him away to be manage by a better coach without his friends?

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Any suggestions would be appreciated? I coach a 10U boys baseball team. We are just a recreational team but we try to be competitive while giving the boys an experience they will remember. All players in our league bat whether they are in on defense or not so batting is always equal. I have 4 boys who can hit very well and have great confidence. My other 7 boys have no confidence, however, they can hit the ball at practice.

What are some tips to get them more confidence at the plate? They all look up to the 4 other players on the team who play very well. They see them do it all the time! I think when they see how good these 4 boys hit, they get down on themselves. I think the other boys notice this and it gets to them. Any ideas would be well appreciated. Try to make all players on the team feel their role is important to the team, no matter how big or small. My 14 year old daughter plays basketball, and she has an elite skill set that not even many college players have. She plays point guard.

Last year she had a great coach, that built her confidence so high that there was no one at any AAU tourney we attended that could guard her. Coaches would double and even triple team her on a constant basis and it still looked like it was easy for her.

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  • She got a nickname which she hated of Easy. Her coach said it was because she made the game look so easy. Anyone watching could see it getting worse the more the season progressed. I also will admit that I have been very hard on her and took my frustrations with her high school coach out on her. She went from a player averaging 16 ppg in AAU would have been much more but she loves to share the ball to playing easier competition, yet only averaging about 7 ppg. Which now her confidence is so shot, who knows if he will ever know.

    So, from this point, how can I take back all the negative that I said and help her to believe in herself again? Last AAU season everyone was saying she would be a definite D1 scholarship player, and to an upper end D1 school at that.

    The Social and Academic Benefits of Team Sports

    I know that same ability is still there, because I see it in pick-up games for fun when she plays against 16 to 25 year old guys at the gym, many of which play or played varsity high school ball, and some even played at the college level. My daughter seems to beat herself in swimming before she even competes. Especially, when it comes to her own team mates.

    When we go to meets out of state on our own, she sets great times. How do I build her confidence in herself to let her see her true potential? I would start by asking her not to compare her skills to teammates, as this is a confidence killer. And you might talk about having a positive pre-swim routine that helps her feel confident prior to races. My son is a 6 year old soccer player. He started rec soccer at age 3 until his 5th birthday. He tried out for one of the top soccer clubs in our area and made the U7 team as a 5 year old.

    He made the second to bottom flight and told me he was going to make the top flight for the following year. Quite determination from a 5 year old but he worked his tail off and grew leaps and bounds in foot skills and speed.

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    He tried out in May of and did make that top flight in his age group this season. Coaches came up to me saying what an amazing accomplishment for him, he earned every bit of it. We played indoor soccer all Summer we live in AZ to prepare him for this new season. He was pumped up ready to play with his new team, came out of the gates doing terrific, was a far better player then anyone on the team.

    Then about weeks into the season I started noticing a change in play and behavior. Then I started noticing more mistakes, more bench time and more yelling from the coach. It has gotten to the point that my son plays maybe half a game and when he does, he is afraid to touch the ball.

    Coach is always yelling at him to pick his head up, pass the ball etc. My child had all the confidence and skills in the world and now he has nothing. At this age winning games is not as important as every kid getting touches on the ball to improve their skills. How does he do that when he rides the bench? He has amazing skills but how does he show those skills when his confidence is completely broken.

    How do we get him back to that player he was at the beginning of the season? Any good coach should be able to recognize body language, confidence or the lack thereof , and attitude in players and be able to determine if it is positive or negative. Then the coach needs to encourage and build them up. Most kids simply do not respond well to criticism. Neither does yelling. Also, vast negative generalizations about the team bring everyone down.

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    Maybe a starter or two were lackluster in their performance and the team lost, but a couple bench players had the games of their lives, despite the loss. I watched a recent youth BB game where the team lost but the bench players including my son performed great.

    Kids perceive any counteracting the negative of coach as patronizing. Coaches and parents need to find anything positive and latch on to it, and verbally express those things during and after a game. The temptation to be critical and negative should be stuffed at all costs. It is just a game, and should be fun. The time for constructive encouragement criticism should be at practice, when emotions are not high.